Frayed Edges of Burned Bridges
by McChanged
Summary: Junior year is spent burning bridges, so senior year is spent rebuilding.


So the first phrase in this has been stuck in my head since I start _Lives of Illusion,_ but I had no idea how to fit it in with the direction that that story's headed in. So I'm making it a one-shot. With too many parenthesis. Because I can. Review please.

Disclaimer: I don't own.

* * *

He feels like one day he woke up and decided to burn bridges.

(His relationships have always had a time limit on them, though, so it's not really that surprising.)

Rachel's first. (Despite the fact that things are already set in motion for Finn.) It's harder than he expected. It was just a week. That's it, nothing more. And, yet, he can't even look her in the eye when he tells her they _weren't_ friends to begin with. (It'd be disconcerting if he wasn't so numb.)

Finn's easier because really, the guy does it for him with a sucker punch and a look of betrayal that darkens his eyes. (He slams his fist into a locker because he hates not having control over his relationships, not because he already misses his best friend. _Obviously_.)

Quinn's bridge was built on wine coolers and a few extra pounds on a scale, and then on a baby the size of his fist. In the end it didn't matter how frantically he tried to rebuild, she had already walked away, leaving him standing on the other side grasping the frayed edges of what used to be.

(Now he just feels like everybody _else_ woke up and decided_ for_ him.)

* * *

He spends the summer of 2010 bitter and pissed off and putting to the test the advice his dad gave him when he was ten.

(If you can't get to heaven, you might as well enjoy the ride down.)

He hits the self-destruction button the night the school year ends, and doesn't let up. His days are spent cleaning pools for cougars while they stare at his abs and debate how much time they have left before their husbands get home.

His nights he likes to spend experimenting with the joys of _excess. _So he drinks _too_ much, hits _too_ hard, and drives _too_ fast. Girls are easy and never ending and soon everything just blurs together until he wakes up and realizes that school starts again in two days. Then he decides that this year will be different because he wants to_ feel_ again.

(He also wakes up in someone else's bed with a random number written across his palm, but that's the _old_ him so he doesn't talk about it.)

* * *

Junior year is spent burning bridges, senior year spent rebuilding.

Rachel's first because she'll be the easiest. (Not that he'd _ever_ tell her that.)

He catches her at her locker attempting to wipe away the slur that was already scribbled across it (she fails) and when she flinches he realizes she's expecting a slushie to the face. A little _welcome back_ present he'd given her since freshman year. (The thought _alone _makes him want to duck his head and walk away.)

He had a speech. (Actually he didn't, but he had an outline of things he wanted to say, apologies he wanted to make and really this is all very_ foreign_ to him.) Instead, he just points to her locker and tells her that _it's over_ and walks away_. _He feels her eyes on him the entire time down the hallway but he doesn't look back.

He skips out of last period early, and for a second thinks old habits die hard, but he has other things to do.

The next morning his knuckles are bruised and so is his jaw, but it's worth it to watch her reaction when she realizes the slur is gone and every athlete in the building gives her a five foot area when she walks down the hall.

He doesn't know how, but with an almost eerie-like accuracy she locks eyes with him as he leans against a door frame down the hallway. He gives her a nod and a ghost of a smile appears on her face.

(One down, two to go.)

* * *

Finn's next. (Because, really, he can deal with a broken bone but not a broken heart.)

He figures he'll do it before football practice because at least if it goes bad the other players could intervene but they run into each other before lunch. Like literally, _run_ into each other. He's rounding a corner on his way to avoid lunch and Finn's apparently going towards it and suddenly it's all limbs and mumbled apologies. Then they seem to realize who the other actually _is_, and they both step in the same direction. Finn forward, Puck back (like always).

Finn speaks first, and it's still all stutters and uncertainty, like always.

"I… uh… didn't see you all summer. How have you… uh… been, man?" It's instinct to cut through the pleasantries and just get to the point.

"Look. I'm sorry, okay. About Quinn and the baby and lying to you and-" then he just kind of cuts off because Finn's _staring_ like he doesn't recognize him.

"I heard what you did for Rachel," he says finally and this time Puck does duck his head.

"I just figured, you know, it was time to grow up. She never did anything to me, and it wasn't fair to torture her like that just because I could."

When he glances up, Finn has the biggest smartass _grin_ on his face and it startles him.

"And here I thought you were_ banging_ girls all summer, but apparently you were turning _into_ one."

A smirk slowly crawls its way across his face, and Puck suddenly remembers why they've been best friends for so long.

"Yea dude, estrogen's a bitch."

And then it's serious again.

"You love her don't you?" He doesn't have to ask who the _her_ is he's referring to because it sure as hell isn't Berry. He's ridden the best friend's girlfriend train before and has no desire to get back on. (Ex-girlfriends are a different story.)

All he can do is nod, and he wonders how they got to this point. How it went from tossing a football back and forth in each other's backyards, to him admitting that he has fallen completely in love with his best friend's ex-girlfriend.

"Okay. But if you hurt her I'll be forced to kick your ass. _Again_."

* * *

He does action for Rachel and words (sort of) for Finn so he decides on a little bit of both for Quinn.

It's after school because he figures this isn't something they can just fit into three minutes between classes. Besides she seems to be avoiding him like the plague and he'll have to grab her attention somehow.

So instead he pulls information from his bad boy days (like last Tuesday) and takes out a few important parts from her car, leaving a note that simply says _thank Puck._

He watches her find it after a few attempts to start her car. She pops open her hood like she has _any _idea what she's doing and then her eyes narrow and she glances around the empty parking lot until they land on him. He's sitting on the hood of his truck and he seems to have gotten her attention if the way she is stalking, literally _stalking,_ across the parking lot is any indication.

"This isn't funny, Puck." And he's pretty sure those are the first words she's said to him since she miscarried.

"Never said it was."

"Just fix my car, okay. I don't have the energy to deal with this today. I don't have the energy to deal with _you _today."

She says it like an accusation. Like he just ruins her life on a daily basis and he jumps down to stand right in front of her. She turns, though, already walking back to her car, phone in hand. He calls out to her, because it's all he _can_ do.

"What, _exactly_, is your problem with me, Quinn?" It's probably not the best thing to say but he's angry. He almost doesn't expect her to turn around. And certainly not that fast. It's all blonde hair and angry blue eyes and not for the first time he realizes that he just _misses_ her.

"My problem? My problem is that you just disappeared. Dropped off the face of the fucking planet to drink and hook up with skanky girls, like you didn't even _care_ anymore."

"I couldn't chase you forever, Fabray. I wasn't just going to sit by and watch how happy you were with my best friend."

They're yelling and he's glad that he waited until everybody else had gone home because he sees this getting ugly fast.

"I never asked you to." She takes two big steps forward and suddenly she's standing _so_ close and every fiber in his being is _yelling_ for him to step back, walk away but he's not that guy anymore.

"You might as well have. Dammit Quinn, do you have to make everything so freaking hard? I'm trying to tell you that _I'm sorry_. And I know I screwed up, but so did you. You didn't even seem to react after your miscarriage." It's he elephant in the room that no one has even attempted to touch, and he already knows it's going to be a topic they'll broach later. If there is a _later_.

She steps back like he smacked her, and suddenly he's exhausted. He's tired of fighting and tired of paying for past mistakes, he's just _tired_.

"I miss you, and you can either admit that you miss me too or walk away. But this is it; this is the last time I grovel at your feet."

She starts to turn, and he wonders how they're ever going to catch each other when they both spend so much time walking away.

She's already half-way across the parking lot and really it's just a last ditch effort to repair what he's missed for so long.

"I love you." She stops but doesn't turn and he really has no idea what he's saying.

"You're beautiful and smart and you go absolutely fucking _mental _when you're mad. And _I love you_."

"Okay." And he's really just stunned because he's Noah Puckerman and has never said _I love you_ to another person and all that's all she has to say. _Seriously_.

"Okay?"

Abruptly she's standing in front of him again, and he wonders if he's missed something. But she just nods.

"Okay. I love you, too." And then she kisses him.

(Senior year is so going to _kickass_.)

* * *

Ok this last scene between Puck and Quinn was the hardest to write. I pretty much watched the "we're baking" scene on repeat for two hours until I felt that I could give them at least a little bit of justice and could stop getting distracted by the absolutely, amazing _awesomeness_ of Dianna Argon's hair, the level of hotness of Mark Salling even with a Mohawk, and the hilarity of the next scene between Kurt and his dad. Yea _that's _why I had to watch it so many times.


End file.
